My favorite meals are the ones that come together in less than ten minutes, but taste like they’ve taken all day to prepare. The only way I really know how to make that happen is in the slow cooker. So, I’m adapting most of my best recipes and so far, so good. Last night, I mastered a pretty amazing stew. The depth of flavor in the sauce is matched with beef and fruit that melt in your mouth!

Ingredients

2.5 pounds stew beef (Swap the beef for chicken or lamb if you’re looking to mix things up.)

6 cloves of mashed and diced garlic

1/2 c olive oil

4 teaspoons cumin

1/2 t ground ginger

1 t each: salt, turmeric, paprika, ground pepper

1 T cinnamon

3-4 cups beef or chicken stock (If you’d prefer a thicker stew, add less stock.)

1.5-2 cups dried prunes or apricots

1/4 c flour (optional)

garnish: cilantro

Method

Mix olive oil, garilc, and spices in your slow cooker.

Add beef.

Pour stock over the beef.

Cook on high 6-8 hours.

About a half hour to an hour before you’d like to eat, drop in the fruit, and take out about 1/2 cup of stock. Mix the hot stock with the flour, to create a slurry. Then, add back into the stew, stir, and recover for about 30-60  minutes.

Serve over plain couscous, rice, or eat as a stew.

This post is part of The Nourishing Gourmet’s Pennywise Platter.

Stare down.

Mastitis.

The name itself sounds pretty awful. If you grew up in even a slightly rural area, the word may ring a bell. Isn’t that an infection milking cows get!? Yup. And nursing mamas, too. I know—I had it twice myself.

A few days after my first sweet girl was born. I just assumed all new mothers felt like they had been run over by a truck. My whole body was hot with a fever, but my breasts were red, inflamed, and on fire! Think: flu + engorgement + childbirth recovery. Eek.

My midwife was clear: I needed antibiotics. Antibiotics?! I just endured a day of unmedicated childbirth because I wanted to keep my baby pure and medication-free. This seemed like the cruelest of ironies. My midwife called in the prescription but I never picked it up. I knew enough about natural healing to know antibiotics were not the only remedy, despite her advice. After some research, I felt armed to fight the infection, and now I’m excited to provide it for other moms who want a natural alternative for healing….

I’m blogging at Authentic Parenting today. Head over there to read more about simple, natural ways to prevent and treat breast infections.

Turino, Italia

Lazy Almond Butter Cups @ Good Girl Gone Green

Almond butter + chocolate + 10 minutes = amazing.

Does iPhone’s Siri Thwart Social Intelligence? @ Parenting for Peace

Marcy Axness is my new favorite parenting writer/researcher. She’s awesome. Check out this counter-cultural post on the affects of social media and technology.

Infant Sensory Play @ Play at Home Mom

Great ideas for playing with wee ones!

For more Sunday Surf reading fun, check out Hobo Mama!

I love eggs. I love milk, especially the raw stuff. This baked custard has been my go-to dessert in late pregnancy, and now as a nursing mama, as I try to maximize my nutrients and stay fueled. It’s fast. It’s easy. There are three ingredients (or four if you’re ambitious). It’s breakfast, lunch, dessert…and maybe even dinner.

Ingredients
4 cups of milk

• If you use raw milk, supposedly the custard will be runnier unless you heat it to 160 degrees. I have never done that, and still have a great consistency.

1/4 cup maple syrup (or more if you really like it sweet)

• honey or sugar may also be used, but maple syrup yields a flan-like flavor

1 teaspoon vanilla (homemade is easy!) (optional)
sprinkle of nutmeg on top

Method
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
2. Blend milk and maple syrup together. Add eggs. Blend well. I use a stick blender.
3. Fill  ramekins 3/4 full or if you want to be super simple, a 9×9 pan.
4. Fill 9×13 dish with 1-2″ of water.
5. Place ramekins or pan in the large dish.
6. Sprinkle nutmeg on top.
7. Baking time seems to vary depending on how full the cups are, how large they are, and your oven. In general, ramekins will take about 30-45 minutes (raw milk takes longer!). A toothpick will be your best gauge of doneness.
8. Remove ramekins from dish and cool before refrigerating.

This post is part of The Nourishing Gourmet’s Pennywise Platter.

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have focused on how we can communicate with other parents compassionately.

***

As a mom who parents in a way that is unlike what I’d estimate to be over 90% of US parents, I often find myself treading tricky ground. I’m a practitioner of Attachment Parenting. Not only am I an enthusiastic participant, I’m also co-authoring The Other Baby Book to help educate more parents about this amazing way of connecting with their babies.

After researching alternatives, when a person consciously accepts one idea, it usually means they’ve rejected another one. As a parent, choosing to parent outside the mainstream means I’ve rejected mainstream parenting – for me and for my family. Yet personally, I’m someone who likes to avoid conflict. I don’t like feeling judged, and I don’t want other people to think I’m judging them. In the parenting arena, judgement often comes with the territory. Given that many of the friends I had prior to becoming a parent have embraced or used mainstream parenting methods, my choices can open the door for sticky social situations.

The easiest ways I’ve found to avoid hurt feelings are simple:
1. talk with like-minded parents about parenting
2. avoid parenting topics with those who do things differently
3. emphasize that the way I parent is what works for *me* and assume the same of others.

I may be missing out on opportunities both to educate and to be educated. But unless a fellow mom explicitly appeals to me for advice or says their way isn’t working, I find it’s easiest to acknowledge that each of us has made our choices for a reason. And for those who made their choices because they didn’t know there were others out there? That’s why I’m writing the book.

***

Visit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be live and updated by afternoon February 14 with all the carnival links.)

• How to Respond Respectfully to Unwanted Parenting Advice and Judgment — At Natural Parents Network, Amy (of Peace 4 Parents) offers some ways to deal with parenting advice and criticism, whether it’s from your mom or the grocery store clerk.
• Judgement is Natural – Just Don’t Condemn — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama shared her views on why judgment is unavoidable and why the bigger issue is condemnation.
• Four Ways To Share Your Parenting Philosophy Gently — Valerie at Momma in Progress shares tips for communicating with fellow parents in a positive, peaceful manner.
• When Other Parents Disagree With You — Being an attachment parent is hard enough, but when you are Lily, aka Witch Mom, someone who does not enforce gender roles on her kid, who devalues capitalism and materialism, and instead prefers homeschooling and homesteading — you are bound to disagree with someone, somewhere!
• Mama Bashing — Lucy at Dreaming Aloud reflects on the hurt caused on the blogosphere by mama bashing and pleads for a more mindful way of dealing with differences.
• Accentuate the Positive — Joella at Fine and Fair shares how she manages interactions with the parents she encounters in her work as a Parent Coach and Substance Abuse Counselor by building trusting relationships and affirming strengths.
• The politics of mothers – keys to respectful interactions with other parents — Tara from MUMmedia offers great tips for handling the inevitable conflict of ideas and personalities in parenting/mother’s groups, etc.
• Trying to build our village — Sheila at A Gift Universe tells how she went from knowing no other moms in her new town to building a real community of mothers.
• Internet Etiquette in the Mommy Wars — Shannon at The Artful Mama discusses how she handles heated topics in the “Mommy-space” online.
• Parenting with Convictions — Sarah at Parenting God’s Children encourages love and support for fellow parents and their convictions.
• How To Be Respectful Despite Disagreeing On Parenting Styles… — Jenny at I’m a Full-Time Mummy shares her two cents’ worth on how to have respectful interactions with other parents despite disagreeing on parenting styles.
• Public Relations — Momma Jorje touches on keeping the peace when discussing parenting styles.
• Navigating Parenting Politics — Since choosing an alternative parenting style means rejecting the mainstream, Miriam at The Other Baby Book shares a few simple tips that can help avoid hurt feelings.
• Hiding in my grace cave — Lauren at Hobo Mama wants to forget that not all parents are as respectful and tolerant as the people with whom she now surrounds herself.
• Carnival of Natural Parenting – Respectful Interactions with Other Parents — Wolfmother at Fabulous Mama Chronicles explores how her attitude has changed regarding sharing information and opinions with others and how she now chooses to keep the peace during social outings.
• Empathy and respect — Helen at zen mummy tries to find her zen in the midst of the Mummy Wars.
• Not Holier Than Thou — Amyables at Toddler in Tow muses about how she’s learned to love all parents, despite differences, disagreements, and awkward conversations.
• Nonviolent Communication and Unconditional Love — Wendylori at High Needs Attachment reflects on the choice to not take offense as the key to honest and open communication.
• Respectful Parenting As a Way of Life — Sylvia at MaMammalia writes about using her parenting philosophy as a guide to dealing with other parents who make very different choices from her.
• Homeschooling: Why Not? — Kerry at City Kids Homeschooling shares how parents can often make homeschooling work for their family even if, at first glance, it may seem daunting.
• If You Can’t Say Something Nice… — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now tells her philosophy for online and offline interactions … a philosophy based primarily on a children’s movie.
• Different Rules for Different Families — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children discusses how differences between families affect our children, and how that can be a good thing.
• Respectful Interaction With Other Parents — Luschka at Diary of a First Child shares the ways she surrounds herself with a like-minded support network, so that she can gently advocate in her dealings with those whose opinions on parenting differ vastly from her own.

• Parenting as a mirror — Rather than discrediting others’ parenting styles, Kate Wicker discusses why she tries to focus on doing right rather than being right — and why she’s also not afraid to show others that she’s a heartfelt but imperfect mama just trying to be the best mom for her family.
• The One Thing {Most} Parents Have In Common: They Try Their Best — Christine at African Babies Don’t Cry finds interacting with other parents easier once she accepts that they are all just trying their best, just like her.
• Finding your mama-groove: 5 ways to eliminate judge/be judged metality — MudpieMama reveals 5 ways of thinking that have helped her find her mama-groove and better navigate tricky parenting discussions.
• Speaking Up For Those Who Can’t — We’ve all had those moments when someone said something hurtful or insensitive, or downright rude that just shocks you to your core, and you’re stunned into silence. Afterwards, you go home and think “Gosh, I wish I said…” This post by Arpita at Up Down, And Natural is for all the breastfeeding mamas who have thought “Gosh, I wish I said…”
• Thank you for your opinion — Gaby at Tmuffin shares her go-to comment when she feels like others are judging her parenting style.
• Mending — A playground conversation about jeans veers off course until a little mending by Kenna at Million Tiny Things is needed.
• The Thing You Don’t Know — Kelly at Becoming Crunchy talks about what she believes is one of the most important things you can consider when it comes to compassionate communication with other parents.
• 3 Tips for Interacting with Other Parents Respectfully When You Disagree with Them — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama shares what she has learned about respectful interactions on her parenting journey.
• Peacefully Keeping My Cool: Quotes from Ana — How do you keep your cool? Ana from Pandamoly shares some of her favorite retorts and conversation starters when her Parenting Ethos comes into question.
• Kind Matters — Carrie at Love Notes Mama discusses how she strives to be the type of person she’d want to meet.
• Doing it my way but respecting your highway. — Terri from Child of the Nature Isle is determined to walk with her family on the road less travelled whether you like it or not!
• Saying “I’m Right and You’re Wrong” Seldom Does Much To Improve Your Cause… — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment writes about how living by example motivates her actions and interactions with others.
• Have another kid and you won’t care — Cassie of There’s a Pickle in My Life, after having her second child, knows exactly how to respond to opposing advice.
• Ten Tips to Communicate Respectfully, Even When You Disagree — What if disagreements with our partners, our children or even complete strangers ultimately led to more harmony and deeper connections? They can! Dionna at Code Name: Mama shares ten tips to strengthen our relationships in the midst of conflict.
• A Little Light Conversation — Zoie at TouchstoneZ explains why respect needs to be given to every parent unconditionally.
• Why I used to hide the formula box — Laura at Pug in the Kitchen finally talks about how judgement between parents changed her views on how she handles differences in parenting.
• Assumptions — Nada at minimomist discusses how not everyone is able to nurse, physically, mentally, or emotionally.
• Shushing Your Inner Judgey McJudgerson — Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction knows that judging others is easy to do, but recognizing that we all parent from different perspectives takes work.
• Respectfully Interacting with Others Online — Lani at Boobie Time Blog discusses the importance of remaining respectful behind the disguise of the internet.
• Presumption of Good Will — Why — and how — Crunchy Con Mommy is going to try to assume the best of people she disagrees with on important issues.
• Being Gracious with Parenting Advice — Tips for giving and receiving parenting advice with grace from Lisa at My World Edenwild.
• Explain, Smile, Escape — Don’t know what to do when you’re confronted by another parent who disagrees with you? Amy at Anktangle shares a story from her life along with a helpful method for navigating these types of tricky situations (complete with a handy flow chart!).
• Balancing Cultures and Choices — Dulce de leche discusses the challenges of walking the tightrope between generations while balancing cultural and family ties.
• Linky – Parenting Peacefully with Social Media — Hannabert’s Mom discusses parenting in a social media world.

Girona, Espana

Here are some of my favorite reads for the week.

Positive Parenting is not Permissive Parenting @Positive Parenting

Practical post defining the difference between positive and permissive parenting.

Guilt-free Speed Cleaning @ Babble

This is a philosophy I could get behind!

Nipple confusion, bottles, and alternative feeding options @ The Leaky Boob

Comprehensive look at nipple confusion and a world of options to avoid it!

Head over to Hobo Mama for more fun reading!

The recipe is simple, and the result is a delicious, nourishing, filling snack. These little egg muffins are gluten-free, and packed packed with protein, fat, nutrients, and taste. While I much prefer to sit down and eat breakfast leisurely, that doesn’t always happen. This is a perfect on-the-go breakfast or mid-day snack.

Feel free to substitute the bacon and/or mushrooms with veggies of your choice, like kale, spinach, onions or leeks.

Ingredients
1 dozen eggs
1 lb bacon, browned and diced
1 lb mushrooms (portobella are filled with vitamin D), sauteed in butter or EVOO
1/2 t garlic powder or 2 cloves fresh garlic, sauteed
salt and pepper to taste
grated parmesan for the topping

Method
Combine all ingredients except Parmesan.
Put 1/3 cup of mixture in each muffin pan. (I used silicone and didn’t have to grease or put cups in)
Sprinkle with Parmesan.
Bake at 350 for 25-30 minutes, until tops are browned and a toothpick comes out clean.
If freezing, let cool completely on wire rack, and then put in a freezer bag or container.

For more frugal meal ideas, head to The Nourishing Gourmet’s Pennywise Platter.

Pamela Druckerman’s new book, Bringing Up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting, is causing a Tiger-mother-like stir. Druckerman wrote an article in last week’s Wall Street Journal entitled, Why French Parents Are Superior. I try not to be offended by these things. Really, I do. But I actually refused to read the article for a good four days because the title was so off-putting.

The teaser for the article says,

While Americans fret over modern parenthood, the French are raising happy, well-behaved children without all the anxiety. Pamela Druckerman on the Gallic secrets for avoiding tantrums, teaching patience and saying ‘non’ with authority.

Oh good. Let’s feed into Americans’ insecurity even more. I’m sure that will solve our “problem.” And while we’re on the subject…just what is our problem? And who is “us”? Because I’m sure you know, if you’ve ever gone to a playgroup, or a family dinner, or logged onto Facebook, there is no collective American parenting practice. If there were, we wouldn’t have Mommy Wars.

This book, I’m sure, will be a comfy confirmation for French parents on what they already know. But based on the premise alone, it seems misplaced for Americans. We don’t need more lessons of how to be something we’re not. Instead, we need to look at our values, and examine if we are achieving them. To be fair, several reviews have pointed out that the actual book is more of a memoir extolling the positive virtues of French Parenting, which could be useful as a starting point for talking about positive change, rather than the inflammatory how-to I’ve seen marketed so far. If that’s the case and I were Druckerman, I might ask for a new publicist.

Instead of talking about who’s “superior” and what the “best” way to parent is, perhaps it would be helpful to have multiple resources (and I believe we already do!) that help parents move in the direction of what they value most. Maybe it’s independence. Or maybe it’s interdependence. Maybe it’s creativity, confidence, or competence. Looking at the end goal, and then working backward, considering our culture and our resources, is a better way to support parents.

Asking Americans to jump on board with a very culturally defined set of parenting “rules” sets us up for failure. For some, it may be tempting to hear that your child would wait for his “4pm snack,” eliminating the sometimes annoying ritual of preparing, offering (and sometimes being refused), and cleaning up food, several times a day. But um, I don’t eat three square meals, with a light snack. I eat 6, 7, 10 times a day! Why would I want to train my child to differently? I wouldn’t, because I don’t value a strict meal schedule. So assuming the French parenting style is superior is devaluing quite a few other cultures.

As Druckerman notes,

 In a 2004 study on the parenting beliefs of college-educated mothers in the U.S. and France, the American moms said that encouraging one’s child to play alone was of average importance. But the French moms said it was very important.

Exactly. We have different priorities. Sure, I’d like Anabella to play alone sometimes. Cultivating peace with being alone is important. As one TOBB Facebook poster said, I don’t want a needy teenage girl on my hand. Where I part ways, however, is the idea that if I miss this boat, at age one, or two, I’m up the creek without a paddle. I know that Anabella and I both enjoy doing puzzles, reading, walking through town, cooking (yes, I let her lick the spoon!) and making cats from playdough. I also know that she’s probably not going to be excited about moulding clay forever. So how about I let her be a toddler, and in turn I get to enjoy early motherhood, in all its intense, lovely, messiness?

I’m off to smooth my ruffled feathers. To be fair, there are some solid points in Druckerman’s article, and likely in her book, which I may read….and maybe she’ll read mine.