This past Wednesday evening, while I enjoyed a cozy dinner at home with my husband and daughter, a New Jersey woman fatally stabbed HER OWN SON. I wish I could have somehow saved that child from the pain and suffering he must have endured at the hands of his mother, a person who should be a refuge from all things hurtful. Although this story made the news, there are so many cases of child abuse, neglect, and endangerment every day that do not reach the news. Sometimes when I close my eyes, the stories and images that DO reach me, via our media and from others, haunt my thoughts and dreams.
But I do nothing.
It is overwhelming to know that there is so much misery and pain in the world. And it is much easier to focus on the positive. To avoid the “bad” parts of town, to move to the suburbs for the “good” schools, and to blame these problems on others. I tell myself that I am just one person, what change can I possibly bring? So I pile more and more on my proverbial plate, telling myself that maybe soon I’ll have time to volunteer somewhere or help someone in need. I’ve built an ivory tower around my home, my family, and my life. Do you ever do the same?
A few Sundays ago, someone from a local foster program non-profit, the 111 Project, spoke to my church about the foster problem in my state of Oklahoma. As of January 2012, there are over 8,000 Oklahoma children without a home and in need of foster parents. Nationwide that number rises to over 400,000 kids in the foster system, of which a quarter are waiting for a home. The problem has become so dire that Oklahoma City is considering opening back up a shelter for babies and toddlers that they were previously able to close. My friends, no child should spend a single night in a shelter. But there are just not enough people trained and willing to foster. Listening to the presentation, I had tears in my eyes. This is an initative that I can support.
The longer I am a mother, the more I realize that my love and my ability to care for others is a renewable resource. I often feel like the more I give it away, the more it comes back to me. Attachment parenting is such a beautiful gift, both for the giver and receiver. I may not be able to stop all of the bad things happening in the world that overwhelm and sadden me, but perhaps I can make a difference for one child, in my community.
For more information about the current U.S. Foster Crisis:
Are there any social issues that you feel more strongly about since becoming a parent?
Ever since she read a book called “Ministries of Mercies,” Kate has been searching for a way to serve her community. She and her husband will be attending a foster parent information meeting at a local placement agency very soon to find out how they can help. And then maybe, just maybe, she’ll quit feeling like an ostrich burying her head in the sand. When she’s not losing sleep thinking about these things, she cannot get enough hugs and kisses from her sweet and rambunctious 17 month old.