a natural approach to baby's first year
Sunny days; they lighten our moods and brighten our days. It seems that we appreciate them even more once we have kiddos to share them with. Now that we have children, sunny days mean we can
play in the fountain, spontaneously
and meet street vendors of all sorts.
We can enjoy a piece of pizza while feeling the sun on our back,
And garden, or dance, until the sun sets.
Sunny days mean a new appreciation for all things, most especially though, sharing them with our children.
“Sleeps like a baby” may be one of the most misunderstood concepts in our culture. We use it to refer to getting a good night sleep, or not waking while we are in bed. This is not how grown-ups or babies really sleep, though. Instead we cycle through stages of light and deep sleep- and for babies this is a survival mechanism!
There is however, something extremely peaceful an calming about watching a baby sleep, and these pictures are no exception. No need for a “Chill Pill” today- instead just peruse these precious photos!
An Ode to My Daddy
Chances are everyone reading this has been affected by it. Even if nobody in your immediate family has it, chances are you know somebody who does.
I am talking about those impossibly young kids with their own sense of fashion. They want to choose their own clothes and accessories and they clearly let you know when you should brush up on what is en vogue.
Well, thank goodness for these little kids! What would we do without photos-and personalities- like these?
Some have been with us since before we even knew each other, and some we met along the way… no matter how are paths came to pass there is nothing like a best friend.
Sydney is almost 2.5 and she is far different than her extrovert brother and mother. Each morning Sydney comes downstairs, puts on her rain boots and walks out back (our yard is fenced). She quietly explores the yard examining blades of grass and flowers that have bloomed overnight.
I hear her chatting away and it is hard for me to not go to her and ask what she sees. But I have learned that this is her time, her start to the day. And that the most respectful thing for me to do is to let her have it.
Sometimes she gets lucky and puddles are left from the overnight rain- this gives her an especially nice start to the day.
Spring in the north east means switching between warm “teddy bear” coats,
and quick-dry bathing suits.
It means taking time to stop and smell the flowers- which is nicest of all when your toddler provides the reminder!
We are humble, we mothers. But there is no doubt that every one of us is a hero. Each of us may have a different set of circumstances or challenges or uncertainties, but every single one of us would do anything for our children.
Yes indeed, Mothers Are Heroes…
Because we are given a brand new life and even though we have no training or experience, we want to give them our best. And so clumsily and with a new sense of humility, we figure it out.
Because we know that being present and gentle and loving is good for our babies. And so even when we have our own ailing parent to care for, we find a way to give these things to our children.
Because with a toddler at home and a husband at work, our premature baby needs us to be with her in the NICU. And so somehow we are in two places at the very same time, even if only in spirit.
Because even with our own babies at home, we rearrange our schedules to babysit and we cook an extra meal. We do this because our friend’s premature baby is still in the hospital and her toddler is at home, and they both need her. And maybe it will give our friend comfort to know that her first baby is being cared for and loved.
And because even when our own health requires significant and regular care, we still give our baby everything.
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Did you know The Other Baby Book: A Natural Approach to Baby’s First Year is now for sale? Are you interested in learning more about gentle, mom and baby-friendly practices that foster a joyful, connected relationship? Want to introduce a pregnant friend to natural parenting? Check out our website or head over to Amazon to grab your copy today!
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I have been reading about a parenting approach that is getting some attention lately. I was confused by it and wanted to take a few minutes to share my interpretation of “Crying in Arms” as it relates to my understanding and practice of Attachment Parenting (AP).
My intention is to shed some light on this approach for parents who practice AP, rather than tout one parenting choice as better than another.
The concept of “crying in arms” means that after all of baby’s normal needs are met, but he is still upset, you calmly hold him in your arms. You lovingly and gently look into his eyes and reaffirm how much you love him. The goal is to provide your baby with support and comfort while he’s upset.
What It’s Not
Crying-in-arms (CIA) is entirely different from crying-it-out and controlled crying. The crying-in-arms approach does not in any way suggest that it is ever okay to leave a baby alone to cry.
Within the practice of Attachment Parenting, nursing should never be withheld from a baby. This does not mean that mom is always going to be available to nurse, but it should never be withheld because mom or dad is afraid nursing is performing a disservice to the baby.
Babies cannot be spoiled or over-comforted. They cannot over-nurse.
The Need to Cry
Some of the articles that promote CIA share that babies need to cry in order to have certain coping mechanisms developed within them. To me, this suggests that if I do not let my baby cry sometimes, I am giving him a disadvantage.
However, this goes against many mothers’ instincts–and science. Research shows that babies cry to express a need and it is our role to determine their need and meet it.
This is not to suggest that AP babies never cry. They do. And sometimes we are burned out and confused and have trouble determining or meeting this need.
Practically Speaking
I think I was so confused by the CIA approach because I did not understand where it fit into AP. Much of what is being conveyed sounds like a repackaging of the old belief that a baby needs to exercise his lungs. And for me, choosing to allow my baby to cry because ‘crying is beneficial’ did not resonate with my instincts or what I have learned. And it is tough to be sure when a babies needs have all been met. Babies who are nursing can be nearly incessantly hungry, and simply need the comfort of the breast.
CIA is just a fancy name for something that I was already doing–respectfully responding to my baby’s needs. If my baby cries and nursing (or anything else) won’t calm him down, I instinctively speak calmly to him, rub his back and try to soothe him.
As I process this practice with friends and trusted mamas, the more I understand how it relates to Attachment Parenting; it is not something to be used in place of nursing, it is another way that we can comfort a baby who simply cannot be consoled. It is not a way to make sure our baby spends some time crying, it is a way that we can offer comfort and connect during those times when we desperately want to soothe our baby and not even nursing will do it.
What are your thoughts? Does letting your baby cry in your arms go against your instincts?
Jennifer Andersen is a stay-at-home Mama of two kids ages 2 and 4. Though she has never let her children cry-it-out, sometimes her husband encourages her to.
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Did you know The Other Baby Book: A Natural Approach to Baby’s First Year is now for sale? Are you interested in learning more about gentle, mom and baby-friendly practices that foster a joyful, connected relationship? Want to introduce a pregnant friend to natural parenting? Head over to Amazon to grab your copy today!
the other baby blog 