Welcome to the “I’m a Natural Parent – BUT…” Carnival
This post was written for inclusion in the carnival hosted by The Artful Mama and Natural Parents Network. During this carnival our participants have focused on the many different forms and shapes Natural Parenting can take in our community.
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What is a “natural parent” anyway? If you’re not natural, does that mean you’re unnatural?
Just so we’re on the same page, here’s a working definition. Natural Parenting (NP) includes being respectful and responsive toward your children, leaving a small footprint on the earth through environmentally conscious decisions, and embracing holistic health, which includes gentle alternatives to conventional medicine. (The Natural Parents Network defines NP in detail if you’re interested in more.)
That plays out in so many different ways, though. If you read blogs or attend NP playgroups, it’s not uncommon for a little doubt to creep in. We often portray the best of the best when we’re putting ourselves out there on the web or in person, but that’s often doing a disservice to other moms who feel like they simply can’t live up. “Eek! I don’t raise chickens/make my own elderberry syrup/knit sweaters/fill-in-the-blank.” Chin up, mama! None of us are perfect. In fact, many of us are far from it.
So, in keeping with the eight chapters of The Other Baby Book, here’s a dose of my reality.
I’m a Natural Parent but…
Birth
I had a hospital birth AND asked for an epidural. Multiple times. (Dear husband was so kind to remind me I didn’t really want one, and looking back, I’m very grateful.)
Touch
After a year, I started to bribe Anabella with snacks to ride in her stroller on longer trips, rather than hop in the carrier, which did a number on my back.
Milk
When my extended family asks, “How long are you going to do that for?” I resent the need to educate them.
Sleep
At the tail end of being a single mom for a week while Mark was off on business, I let Anabella cry in her co-sleeper for 55 minutes, in hopes she would go to sleep before midnight, and stay asleep for more than 40 minutes. (For what it’s worth, that was far and away my lowest motherhood moment ever.)
Potty
Nighttime pottying sucks. I wish Anabella would just happily fill up a disposable diaper and sleep through the pees.
Relate
Anabella learned her ABCs by watching Elmo Learns his Letters…in the car.
Eat
We’ve eaten non-organic produce from The Dirty Dozen.
Flow
Sometimes I don’t eat lunch. Or wash my hair. Or my jeans. I’m still working on self-care.
I’m a Natural Parent And…I wouldn’t have it any other way.
What’s your reality?
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This carnival was created by The Artful Mama and Natural Parents Network. We recognize that “natural parenting” means different things to different families, and we are dedicated to providing a safe place for all families, regardless of where they are in their parenting journeys.
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
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This carnival was created by The Artful Mama and Natural Parents Network. We recognize that “natural parenting” means different things to different families, and we are dedicated to providing a safe place for all families, regardless of where they are in their parenting journeys.
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
***
This carnival was created by The Artful Mama and Natural Parents Network. We recognize that “natural parenting” means different things to different families, and we are dedicated to providing a safe place for all families, regardless of where they are in their parenting journeys.
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
- My kid is a technophile — Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction hasn’t turned in her natural parenting card yet, even though her son prefers electronic toys
- I’m a Natural Parent, but…I use medicine! — Adrienne at Mommying My Way admits that while she hesitates to do so, sometimes she does give her son some medicine when his symptoms get really bad.
- I’m Only Half Planning a Natural Birth — Shannon at The Artful Mama discloses how she is planning her semi-natural hospital birth and still dares to call herself a Natural Parent.
- Why we aren’t rear facing — Shannon at Pineapples & Artichokes talks about her decision to turn her one-year-old daughter’s carseat around, and how the argument always given for extended rear facing makes her feel.
- Musings of an Almost Crunchy Momma — Valerie at Momma in Progress re-examines her list of natural parenting litmus tests.
- Natural Parenting Does Not Equal Perfect Parenting — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama admits to several not-so-natural parenting and lifestyle practices.
- 10 Reasons to Revoke My Natural Parent Card — Laura at WaldenMommy: Life Behind the Red Front Door discusses why some of her less-than-crunchy practices are better for her family.
- I’m a Natural Parent – BUT… MacNCheese is Awesome. — Jennifer at True Confessions of a Real Mommy reveals her penchant for some far from healthy eating, cheap food recipes.
- Crunchy on the Inside — Wolfmother at Fabulous Mama Chronicles muses about how the stereotype of a natural parent does not do justice to the very dynamic group that this parenting philosophy attracts.
- My Reality — Megan from The Other Baby Book confesses a few things about her parenting.
- I’m Crunchy But… — Christy at Mommy Outnumbered shares confessions on all of her “non” crunchy ways.
- I’m A Natural Parent, But…it took me awhile — It took Kerry at City Kids Homeschooling awhile before fully understanding and appreciating Natural Parenting.
- I Am Not a Perfect Natural Parent — Momma Jorje shares her dirty little secrets as a mostly natural parent.
- Crunchy, But Not Crunchier Than Thou — Instead of comparing yourself to others, Dionna at Code Name: Mama encourages you to give yourself permission to be as crunchy as you can for right now.
- I’m a natural parent but…I love bedtimes — Terri at Child of the Nature Isle would never let her children cry-it-out, but she has a selection of other methods to encourage early bedtimes.
- I’m a Natural Parent – BUT… — Lani at Boobie Time Blog believes that following the principles of Natural Parenting doesn’t mean you fit a stereotypical mold of societal view.
- Confessions of a Low Supply Mom — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children confesses her insecurities about being a low supply mom.
- I’m a natural parent, but. . . — Not eating her placenta is just one of the ways Ashley at Mama Raw falls short at being a natural parent.
- I’m a Natural Parent But…I have a Few Confessions — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment strives to be a Natural Mama, but wait, she has a few confessions!
- I’m a Natural Parent BUT — Carrie at LoveNotesMama confesses her gratitude for disposable diapers.
- Intestinal Dissection — Melissa from White Noise talks about how imperfection can be beautiful when it is buffered with love.
- How much sugar is too much? — Tat at Mum in Search shares how her no-sugar policy evolved into a balancing act, with the balance point not where she’d like to see it.
- I’m a Natural Parent, but. . . — Amyables at Toddler In Tow talks about three of her parenting habits that are not super “natural.”
- Minus Ten Crunchy Points — Joella at Fine and Fair discusses how some of her parenting choices seen as “too crunchy” by those she knows in real life could get her kicked out of the crunchy mom clubs online.
- The Natural Parent “Model” — Kym at Our Crazy Corner of the World talks about her love for not-so-natural cosmetics and beauty products.
- Nice to meet you. — Eileen at Love & Greens talks about how being a natural mama means something different to her every day.
- I’m a natural parent…BUT… — Ashley at Daisy Pedals touches on several natural parenting topics; from cloth diapers to cleaning with natural cleaners.
- I’m a natural parent, but you’d be surprised — Lauren at Hobo Mama confesses to liking diet soda and TV and having lost all her reusable shopping bags.
- I’m a Natural Parent, but…. I don’t shop local — Luschka at Diary of a First Child confesses one of her greatest ‘natural’ failures – she doesn’t shop local and support her community, despite wishing she could.
- Who You Callin’ Natural? (a Carnival of Natural Parenting Contribution) — A bit of premise exposition, some tongue-in-cheek filler, and a photographic list of all the ways Embrita Blogging cheats at being natural.
- Dirty Secrets of a Green & Natural Mama (and Why I’m Not Afraid to Share Them!) — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama shares her definition of what it means to be a perfect mama as well as a few of her dirty little secrets.
- Green Mommy Guilt — Jen at Jen and Joey Green talks about how being a perfect Green Mom is overrated.
- Life Coping Devices — Amy at Anktangle discusses two (“non-AP”) coping strategies her family has used for getting through difficult times with her son: the pacifier and the stroller.
- We use disposable diapers. There. I said it. — The mama at Our Muddy Boots shares a bed, nurses her 4 year old, is vegetarian, and is committed to homeschooling; but Pampers adorn her child’s bottom. Ugh!
- Committed to Cloth, but… — Sheila at A Living Family affirms her love of cloth diapering, despite the draw of disposables.
- Natural Parenting as a Doorway to Deep Truths — Amy from Peace for Parents guest posts at Natural Parents Network and shares how for her “natural parenting” is much less about a definition and much more an avenue to explore truths of life.
- Chicken No-nos — Jessica at Pace Family Place strives to live naturally but feeds her oldest son some not-so natural things
the other baby blog 
Don’t underestimate Elmo’s teaching abilities. I’m amazed at the things my son comes up with, and before I can pat myself on the back for being such an amazing mom I realize that he’s learned them from an Elmo app on the iPad.
I had a hospital birth and an epidural too. And it was fantastic. I wouldn’t change a thing about our birth story.
My youngest knows and can recognize all her letters and even do some letter sounds and I have NEVER tried to teach her any of it. I credit Super Why and WordWorld LOL. I am guilty of all of the above. Even trying CIO with my first not once but TWICE after ll of my IRL friends swore he would sleep better if I did. Yeah, not my finest mommy moments either 😦
I think we need to have a hug-in circle of mamas where we all share our lowest moment. Because we’ve all had them, and yet, we all have these incredibly awesome moments as parents, too. Many more of them I’d bet!
I think I’ve been there with you on all your natural parenting “secrets”. I really do need to remind myself that this too shall pass but it still doesn’t stop me from wishing that it was easier or that I had chosen another path especially on nights when I’m tired, he’s not, it is 11pm and I have to get up in a few hours and teach. Thank you for sharing these and for reminding us that we’ve all experienced moments of weakness in our convictions if we take a moment to reflect AND that it is okay.
I keep reading more of these guilt ridden posts in hopes of something juicy, but I just keep saying “Yeah, me too.” I hope your confession was cleansing!
The only reason I haven’t tried letting my oldest cry herself to sleep is because when I have been in the exact same sleep situation as you were, I always ended up scream at her and then bursting into tears myself. She did yell herself to sleep once, but that was a surprise nap time when she was 3, and I wasn’t trying to get her to sleep, just give to give me 10 minutes to myself. The best part is I didn’t think she was actually asleep at first because she kept yelling at me (in her sleep) every few minutes until she fell into deep sleep.
I definitely get “touched” out as well. and elmo taught my first son too. Its all good in the hood! 🙂
My son received a Vtech laptop from my inlaws during the holidays even though I had made it clear that I wanted to move away from plastic techy toys and opt for natural imaginative ones, and guess what? He started learning his letters and numbers from it and he can not only spell out words in my magazines now (he’s 20 months btw), but can count in sequence and understand the numerical value of numbers as well. Well then, it sure showed me! So now he plays with it without interference from me and although it isn’t a very ‘crunchy’ toy, it’s a good one that has had value so far, so it stays! Confessing these things makes me feel better too.
Megan, great confessions! I’m sure we’ve all been there. I am thrilled to have discovered your blog and book– and to learn that we’re neighbors!
-Kerry @ City Kids Homeschooling
Thanks! Are you in the AP Moms meetup group by any chance…?
Yep – I can relate! It is so nice to know that we are not alone in our less than crunchy ways! Thanks for the honesty mama!
Great post! I really love your intro in particular. Your definition of natural parenting is positive and open ended, rather than prescriptive and exclusive. I think we often give examples of how to live rather than the guiding theory behind NP when we define it, and your definition is excellent! And that photo? C’mon. Too cute. Awesomeness.